I don’t remember bots that commented promotional spam and/or pornographic lines, and I don’t really remember following any/many celebrities or meme pages. Instagram was just a platform where I could see basic, blurry pictures of my friends.
I don’t remember people having more than one account, and “influencers” wasn’t a common phrase for someone who uses social media for profit. Now, I have an arts account where I promote the paintings and prints I’m selling, and I have a ‘personal’ account where I share the highlights reel of my life. Whilst it is ‘personal’, it is also open; nobody has to request to follow me. Anyone can view the highlights of the mundane sprinkled with big events, seeing friends, going to concerts - all filtered, all alongside a caption that is quirky, trendy, thought-out.
I have friends that have two accounts. On one account they share the highlights reel for anyone who wishes to view, and on another, private account, they share the silliness, the unfiltered life, the in-jokes. You have to request to follow this page, unless you’re fortunate enough for them to follow you first, letting you know that you’re chosen to be in their inner circle.
I am being a little facetious, but it’s this whole idea that I’m struggling to get my head around. There is no shade to anyone who has more than one account for any purpose. Whatever way we use Instagram is probably problematic in some form; setting personal boundaries, the amount of time we spend scrolling a screen, what we are viewing, the way posts unconsciously make us feel, as well as the wider, ethical issues of Instagram. I’m not sure there is such thing as ‘perfect use’ of Instagram.
Every so often I have a craving to compartmentalise my social media. Sometimes a political conversation begins that I want to give my two cents about, but I’m not sure it always reflects the views of my employers, or it just might be taken the wrong way by people. Sometimes I want recommendations, but I only want them from close friends so I put it on my ‘private story’, giving only a select group the access. Other times, I just want to share about my day and I get this feeling, perhaps ‘imposter syndrome’ where I think, “yes but Rebecca nobody cares that you went to a National Trust Place. Nobody wants to see this field with a grand house in the distance”. And although my friends would like to see my smiling face in this field with the grand house in the distance, the majority of followers probably don’t care. Things happen in the office that are funny either if you’re there, or if you know me well, things that don’t feel like they fit on my main feed. And so the best solution to this very first world ‘problem’ is to have a private account, enabling me to compartmentalise elements of my life into boxes.
I set up a second Twitter account about a year ago, and I still feel funny about it sometimes. I use one account to share about my work, share inspirational quotes and Bible verses, to retweet Christian celebrities and talk about Christian events, but I use the other to tweet about my strong feelings about how Olivia on Married at First Sight Australia, and how she should have been taken off the show for bullying. I tweet about embarrassing adulting fails, I retweet niche jokes and comment on politics that don’t necessarily fit the views of my peers. It isn’t private (meaning that people have to request to follow me), but I do still I feel free in this inauthenticity. And it bothers me.
But is it unauthentic, and should it bother me? Is it not the same as being a slightly different person in different environments? The idea of having a party with everyone I know stresses me out because I’m slightly different when I’m around my uni friends, church friends, friends I’ve known since I was 12, best friends, family, wider family, work friends, my fiancé. I don’t do it on purpose and it’s not vastly different. I’m not saying that one version of myself is very quiet, doesn’t make eye contact with anyone, and only wears black, whilst in a different environment I’m the centre of attention, doing cartwheels around the room whilst I tell hilarious anecdote after anecdote that everyone listens and laughs appropriately at. No, I just mean that I have different in-jokes, I’m different levels of relaxed and filtered, I tell different stories, hold myself in a very slightly different way.
There are some friends that I’d talk about politics to, and others I wouldn’t. There are some friends I’d talk about Married at First Sight to, and others I wouldn’t. Some people I will talk to in depth about my work, and others, I’ll just tell them the headlines. Is this not the same as when we have two different accounts on social media? There are some people I would show a video of me melting Tupperware on a hot hob to, and others I wouldn’t.
Maybe the issue isn’t having two accounts. Assuming you’re not showing anything offensive, morally wrong, sinful etc, then it isn’t about the two different sets of content that you’re sharing. Perhaps what it’s actually about is something deeper; it’s about that feeling when you imagine someone who is only ‘allowed’ to see your main account, sees your view on Roe vs Wade , or, less deep, sees you rolling down a hill with a friend. Maybe it’s actually a worry about what people will think of you, a worry about having politics different to others, a worry about seeming different. Maybe that does come back to being inauthentic, but I don’t think this time for surface level reasons. Perhaps it’s because of past trauma, your experience of what has happened in the past when you’ve shown a different version of yourself. And maybe it’s okay to protect that.
Or, maybe, it just doesn’t matter. If you have thoughts on this, comment below or send me a message and I’d love to chat with you. (I might give you a different response depending on who you are though. Joking….)
SIDE HUSTLE | noun
A piece of work or a job that you get paid for doing in addition to doing your main job.
My side hustle has become Rebecca Sarah Studio. I've created a 'brand' as a sister to this blog, making and selling prints, pottery, and paintings. I manage an Instagram business page, trying to work with (or maybe fight against?) the algorithm, I put money into adverts and into Etsy listings. I enjoy it, and I would identify myself as a creator. It's a dream of mine to one day have my own studio at the bottom of the garden; big glass walls and ceilings, surrounded by trees, the blue sky above, whilst I cover canvases with paint, and a pile of orders sit by the door ready to be sent off. Rebecca Sarah Studio has become my side hustle.
However, I have been reflecting on the disadvantages of the rising popularity and perhaps glamorisation in turning hobbies into hustles.
Firstly, I think it dramatically affects our identity. Although I enjoy painting, when my Instagram posts don't get many likes, when I have few sales on my Etsy listings, when I don't win awards, it impacts my identity. Although I began this because it was something I enjoy, and actually I think art is subjective and nobody is bad at art, the lack of recognition and income tells me I'm not good at what I'm doing. Rather, it should tell me that Instagrams algorithms don't work for the user anymore. Rather, it should tell me that Etsy particularly is saturated with products just like mine. Rather, it should tell me that many people are struggling for money, and often people go to Home Sense or the homeware section of Primark, rather than shopping local and independent. It should tell me that there are factors beyond my control that impact views and sales.
I think there's a similar identity issue in making what you do become who you are, because when you stop doing that thing, you question who you are.
To some degree, I'm sure we've all experienced this. We so often place our identity in our job roles, our relationship status, our hobbies, and when these things stop or change, it pushes us to reexamine who we are. And so if your side hustle is being a fitness coach but you break your leg and you're no longer able to coach people, who are you? If your side hustle is creating products, but you're feeling lost for ideas and so you take a break from creating, who are you?
The way we find our true identity is of course through Jesus and through the Bible. If you're not sure who God says you are, then I'd encourage you to pray and ask Him.
A friend once told me that I am valuable for who I am, not what I do, and that phrase has stuck me with for years now.
Finally, I think turning our hobbies into hustles enforces the idea that our time must be productive, which I think can lead to burnout. Particularly noticeable amongst early Gen Z - late millennials, I think there's an idea that everything we do has to be productive, and so if you can turn your hobby into a hustle, you can turn something unproductive into something profitable. Newsflash: you don't have to be good at your hobbies, and you can do things just because you enjoy them. You can bake, paint, exercise, read, write, have deep knowledge of an area, film, fix, provide a service of any kind without sharing it and without selling it. I recognise that this is majorly 'the pot calling the kettle black'. But I do think that as a generation, for reasons that can probably be pondered in another blog post, we're conditioned to think we should always be productive... even our rest time should be productive. Which is why I think that if you're working a full time job and then you go home to work on your side hustle, you risk burn out. You no longer paint (for example) because it relaxes you and it's enjoyable to you, but because you've got listings to renew on Etsy and you need content for Instagram, and frankly, you need the money.
However, I do think there are some real pieces of gold in turning hobbies into hustles.
If you can put in boundaries to decrease the risk of burn out, it is such a joy to spend your days doing the things you love, and have the things you love provide for you financially. Again, putting in boundaries to decrease the risk of burnout, I think if your job is something you love and something you're good at, that will be your drive, your motivation, and your energy.
Finally, I don't think it's wrong to use the gifts God has given you to increase income (as long as you don't burn out and place your entire identity in it). If God has given you the gift of creativity, teaching, of strategic thinking, of physical fitness and strength, of empowerment and encouragement, and if you do these things and get paid for it - then go and create your hobbies into hustles.
Rebecca Sarah Studio Instagram: @rebeccasarahstudio // https://www.instagram.com/rebeccasarahstudio/
Rebecca Sarah Studio Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/RebeccaSarahStudio?
Image by Eugenia Mello
Something that I think the pandemic has taught us all is how fast things can change. Within a government press conference, the state of the nation can change; shops, cafes, and restaurants close, faces are covered by masks, travel and social interaction is restricted, what we saw as every day life becomes restricted. What 'normal' means changes so fast. Many of us have had experience of how fast our jobs, relationships, mental and physical health can change as a result of the pandemic.
Outside of the pandemic, life can change so fast too. At high school, I spent five years with the same eighteen people in my year group. But as soon as I left after completing my GCEs, that changed. Not only did my social circles change, but my whole routine changed. I studied A-Levels from home, and I did an internship at a church. Then at age eighteen, things changed again as I moved out of the family home. I’m sure that you have similar experiences; when you changed jobs, when you moved house, when you had a child, when your physical or mental health changes - everything changes so fast.
This time of year makes me feel particularly reflective. Rather than doing New Years Resolutions, I prefer to explore these questions. I’ve created them as an Instagram template, and attached them below. I encourage you to work through it too at some point over the new year.
As I look back to January 2021, I can see how much things have changed. I finished uni, which means I’m not travelling up and down to Nottingham every other week, I don’t have assignments to do, and my relationship with my classmates have changed.
I was a part time youth worker in a church, but I am now a full time digital communications coordinator in an office, which has completely changed my weekdays, headspace, and social circles. I'm working with and becoming friends with a completely new bunch of people.
Last year I attend a different church, which again changes my relationships with people in the old and new church, and it changes my Sunday routine.
Looking back to this time last year, my relationships with my family, and with my now fiance, and my friends, have both changed noticeably within just 12 months.
Encompassed in all of these visible, noticeable changes, there are also certainly changes within my goals, passions, priorities, interests, skills, as well as struggles, limits, and difficulties too.
That is all within one year. Granted, perhaps people in my age group are more likely to experience many vast changes within short periods of time, but I don't think this is an experience limited to one generation or season.
When storms rage and everything surrounding us is dark and heavy, it can feel too difficult to say “it is well”. Whilst I understand the story and meaning of this phrase (see here), instead, I am learning to say “it isn’t well, but it will be”. I acknowledge that in the current circumstances, for whatever reason, things are not going well. But I also recognise that things change so fast, so it will one day be well again.
I recently spent the weekend in the Peak District with my boyfriend and a couple of friends, and we had the most beautiful time. It was the first time we had all spent time together since finishing uni a couple of months ago, and it was so lovely to be together again. We all fell back into our usual roles, laughing together, sharing stories.
Camping at a site next to cows and sheep, we adventured around little towns, drove along winding roads, ate fish and chips, cooked up burgers on the barbeque, and bought a bakewell tart from Bakewell. We also went on walks where we came across landmarks such as Peter's Stone, Chee Tor Tunnel, and Buxton Lime Kilns.
These landmarks appeared on Google Maps; they were marked out places of significance. Sometimes when we reached the landmark, there would be a sign informing us about them. We stood under a canopy of trees, reading about how in the 1800s, the big brick kilns before us would produce over 50 tonnes of quicklime per day, meeting the increasing needs of the steel, chemical, and agricultural industries.
But another time, we journeyed up a hill, past the cows, across the rocks, through the stinging nettles, to see Peter's Rock. We had seen it on the map, we had read it was only 0.8miles from the campsite, but we hadn't realised we could actually see it already from our tent! We had probably seen it already many times, but we hadn't realised it was anything different from the rest of the rocks nearby.
As we approached it, we didn't have the best reviews, and we decided that it was less rubbish the closer you got. There were no signs for us to read and learn about who Peter was or how this rock was formed, so we found somewhere to perch and we googled it ourselves. Honestly, I'm still not completely sure.
On another walk, we had planned to see what was marked on the map as 'Stepping Stones'. Not having any more information on it other than this title, where it was, and a picture or two, we followed what we thought was the right route. However, when we came to the place marked on the map, we found we were about 100ft above this babbling brook, and there was no way to get down. Instead, we lent over bridge walls or carefully stepped to the edge of the hills to see Stepping Stones, and watched. As theology graduates, we half jokingly/ironically discussed Bible passages relating to water.
This experience got me thinking about landmarks as a metaphor. I wonder whether there are things in your life, big events, traumas, celebrations, that are your landmarks.
If you were to map out your life story, I wonder what landmarks would feature. I wonder whether they would be things you'd tell others about on large signs like the Lime Kilns. I wonder whether your landmarks would be photographed, whether they would be visiting sites. Or I wonder whether, like Peter's Rock, although they're mapped, they could be easily missed, there's less information on them, they blend into the rest of the scenery, or it's a bit of a trek to get to. I wonder which of your landmarks would people say, "woahh" reverently, and which landmarks people would raise an eyebrow and say, "huh? Tell me more".
The landmarks we experienced on our weekend away were all hundreds, if not thousands of years old. But I wonder what landmarks are a work in progress, and which are still to come.
what a difference three years makes....
My final assignment has been submitted, and I have now finished my degree! A ‘Leavers Day’ is in the calendar for the end of June, but after that I will be completely finished. It feels very strange; as though I should be reading and searching for quotes, or writing an essay, preparing for the next deadline. It’s been a journey with some difficulties: the pandemic moving all learning online, wobbles in faith are particularly difficult when doing a Key Themes of Theology module, and sometimes deadlines were overwhelming. However, the good times far outweigh the difficulties, and I wouldn’t exchange this experience. Many of the best times come from sitting with friends in the common room catching up, discussions in lectures, and little phrases and illustrations lecturers have used — little things that I hope I remember for a long time.
Earlier this week I had an ‘exit interview’ with my tutor, and we walked through a questionnaire that explored the trials and challenges, as well as the celebrations and highlights. One of the questions looked at what advice I would give to students beginning their first year, second year, and their final third year. I enjoyed reflecting, and thought I’d write a blog post on my learnings, which I hope will be helpful for all students, and perhaps also transferable to those in different context, not studying.
1. Remind yourself that you are a person who can achieve things. In my first year, this was a phrase one of my lecturer used and it has stuck with me. When you are finding an assignment difficult and it feels like you can’t do it, go and do something you can do, such as baking, gaming, or running. Remind yourself that you are a person who can achieve things, and then return to your essay.
2. Learn how you work best. This point is similar to the previous. I find it really difficult to wake up early and get started on an essay. If I woke up at 7, ready to start at 8, I would probably sit starring at my laptop until lunch time, questioning why I can’t even write a plan. I would then break for lunch, but I would then be in the mindset that I can’t do it, so my afternoon would be unproductive too. However, if I were to do something else in the morning — do some Church work, go food shopping — and then begin essay writing after lunch, I can probably work all afternoon, and perhaps into the evening too. I also have learnt that I find it best to write an essay plan, find lots of quotes, put them into a document with sub headings so they’re easy to find, and then begin writing my essay. For others, they might like to write their essay and find quotes as they go. In lectures, you might find it best to type notes, hand write notes, or even doodle. Personally, I find handwriting notes and making them pretty helps me to concentrate and stay focussed, and I know that if I miss anything I can go back to the slides on the e:learning site, Blackboard.
3. Be organised. I find calm in being organised — I don’t work well working right up to the deadline. My last essay was due on a Tuesday, and on the previous Friday I sat for 10 hours writing it because I was stressed that I couldn’t do it in time. I like to be organised, have things together and prepared, but I recognise that’s not how everyone works best. Organisation for you might be putting all the deadlines in your calendar as soon as you get them, sorting out the files on your computer so that you can easily find handbooks, or having a bag packed ready for lectures with all the stationary and snacks you could ever need.
4. Ask for help. I have the blessing of having brilliant, helpful lecturers, so I recognise I might be rubbing salt in a wound here if that’s not your experience. But if you need a quote on a topic but don’t know where to look, ask. If you can’t find a handbook, ask. If you’re going on a trip relating to your studies and you need funding, ask whether there are grants available. If you need extra support, for example you’re dyslexic or you’re struggling with your mental health, ask what support is available.
5. Create community with your class. I really think class relationships can make a uni experience brilliant, or it can make it an uphill struggle. You can give and receive so much when you have good relationship with your class; encouragement, direction, help finding resources, reminders for deadlines, book recommendations, as well as hopefully lasting friendship.
6. Finally, learn to filter the noise. This tip is particularly for those in first or second year. You might find there are people in year groups above you that give you great book recommendations and help you use the library, they’ll show you their portfolio so you have an idea of what it’s meant to look like, and they’ll listen to your struggles. You might also find that there are people in the years above you that tell you second year was the hardest thing ever - they almost dropped out, and that tell you ‘horror stories’ about essay titles, and on your first day tell you to get preparing for dissertation. You will need to learn to filter the noise so that you don’t get overwhelmed and scared before you’ve even started.
I write all this whilst acknowledging that I too am still learning, and that I’ve gathered these tips through trial and error. I don’t write this blog post thinking that I’ve got it all sorted. It was only a couple of weeks ago that I sent the following meme to a lecturer, saying that I have accidentally deleted year 1 and 2 timesheets that I needed. That wasn’t very organised of me.
If you'd like to find out more information on the course I've just completed, or you're interested in something similar, go to https://cym.ac.uk
Take notice of your posture right now. Are you comfortable? Is your spine curved? Is your neck tilted? Are your shoulders tense? Our physical posture is important. We’ve perhaps become more aware of this during the pandemic, as many of us swapped our office, swivel chair for a wooden dining chair, or perhaps the sofa. There are YouTube workouts for posture, routines of head titles and downward dogs, as well as many products online available to buy.
But what about our spiritual posture? What about both the physical position that we come to God, as well as the approach or attitude.
The Bible has much to say about our spiritual posture. Philippians 4:1 says, “my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord”. Similarly, in Ephesians 6:10-18 we are invited to put on the full armour of God so that we can be strong and stand our ground against the devil’s schemes.
Another posture we see in the Bible is sitting. In Luke 10:38-42 we read about two sisters, Mary and Martha, who welcome Jesus into their homes. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and listened to His teachings, “but Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” To this, Jesus responds, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed - or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her””.
How often do we busy ourselves with all the things that ned to be done, growing more and more anxious and upset, when instead we can be more like Mary and sit at Jesus’ feet.
In prayer and worship, many people find it useful to hold out their hands to illustrate their openness to receive from God. Other people may bow and kneel on the floor, maybe illustrating their respect and reverence to the King, or perhaps to portray their exhaustion and need for God to take over. There’s a popular quote that says, “when life gets too hard to stand, then kneel”. Sometimes we change our posture in the presence of God.
In practical situations, perhaps in families, workplaces, friendships, ministry, even reading the news, our posture affects our gesture. The posture of confrontation or condemnation limits the gestures of love, grace, acceptance that are open to us. The posture of accompanying opens up the gestures of love and grace.
What is your posture in difficult situations? (Yarhouse, 2018)
In the past year of doing Church differently, I’ve become more aware of my posture - that is, my approach or attitude.
I best engage with worship when I’m surrounded by people, even more so if they’re raising their hands and moving about. I best engage with worship when there’s lots of loud instruments, and when we sing songs I like. I best engage with sermons when there’s teaching that clearly applies to my life; my studying, my working, my relationships, my spending, my consuming. I best engage with sermons when there’s something to look at, like a video or pictures, and when there’s stories, not just from the Bible but from the speaker’s life.
I have recently written my dissertation on how some churches successfully engage emerging adults (18-25s), and found that these ways of engaging with church are common for my age group. I think that part of this is to do with personal preference. Just as we each have different learning styles in the classroom, or you might prefer watching IT whilst I’d like to watch Notting Hill for the billionth time, I think we each have different worship and teaching styles. However, whilst there are styles of teaching and worship I engage best in, my posture is often what actually limits me meeting with God. If I go into Church (or log onto Church these days) with my journalling Bible, pens, my notebook, and with a posture of “I’m ready to hear from God”, then I am more likely to learn & receive. Sometimes, I think our posture gets in the way of us meeting with God, similar to Martha’s posture when meeting with Jesus. She welcomed Jesus into her home, but her posture was closed, whereas Mary’s was open.
So I finish with a challenge to you: what is your spiritual posture? Are you standing firm, equipped with the armour of God? Are you busying yourself, worrying and upset, or are you kneeling at Jesus' feet? When it comes to Church, particularly during Holy Week, are you closed or are you open?
At the beginning of the first Lockdown, I posted a resource I had made called "Isolation Survival Pack", which included all sorts of activities for children and young people to do during isolation. Almost 1 year later, our youth group is still online and I'm still trying to come up with fresh ideas. For me, it's not so much a struggle thinking of series and teaching plans, it's playing games without the crafts cupboard, without Jenga or cards. So, I've made a list of some games we have played online that have really worked, if, like me, 2 Truths and Lie is boring now and doesn't really work with youth who are besties and/or siblings.
I recently binge-watched a show called Hypothetical, where a panel of comedians have to answer what they would do in hypothetical scenarios, and they are awarded points. For example, you have 1 week to convince the world that you are Banksy.
I’ve made it into a game to play with young people, and created a script/rules document for you to use.
Based on the long-running BBC quiz show, this version followed the same layout; a round of general knowledge, then their chosen subjects which I asked for beforehand. We used the sound clip, & I even photoshopped by face onto John Humphrys’. It worked really well, but took a lot of prep time.
Jackbox are online games available on Steam. You can pick a game from the 'party pack' &, like Kahoot, you all sign into a private room to play. Quiplash, Fibbage & Drawful are our favourites. Side note: they do cost but there are regular sales, and you must turn on family friendly mode when playing with young people.
We’ve all tried Scavenger Hunts, right? But have you tried a mindful scavenger hunt? This game works well when discussing topics such as self care and mental health. Here’s some objects for them to find:
Minute to Win It:
These games work best in person, but are possible online. Most games use household objects, but you could create a pack for your young people, deliver/post them, and play as a special games night/social. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL967E5FC0F16FCD6D
"Who said that?!"
This is a quiz that works really well as a stand-alone bit of fun, or it could link to a series about speaking truth/kindness. Find a bunch of quotes, think of 2 other people that could have said that to make it multi choice, and then put it together into a powerpoint. (Kayne West, Trump, Boris Johnson, Jeremy Clarkson, and Homer Simpson work really well)
What games have you played with groups that have worked well on Zoom?
Along the way, I have learnt a few things that push me forward and keep me going that I would like to share. Whatever your situation, student, or not, I hope that these tips are handy.
1. Study with me videos
These are a relatively new trend, in which a ‘studytuber’ (a person who creates study-related content on YouTube) films themselves studying. Some videos have music in the background, others have white noise, some are silent. Most videos have a timer in the corner, which I have found helpful for accountability and motivation; watching 2 hours slowly tick down to 00:00. I have enjoyed this virtual company, as I live on my own. I have enjoyed looking up for a minute or two, watching someone else read their book, or watch their background; perhaps people coming and going from a library. My favourite videos have lo-fi music in the background.
Friends who knew me whilst I did my A-Levels may remember that I liked listening to coffee-shop noises, however, every so often I would jump when a door slammed, or I would get distracted by overhearing someone’s conversation.
2. Know how you work best.
Just as I like to work with background noise, others may find that distracting. I’ve recently written my literature review for my dissertation, and I went through each book, highlighting different phrases with a colour code system. Then I wrote up all my quotes into a document, placing them in a table so I could easily see the key themes. To some, that may seem genius [*takes a bow*] and to others that may seem unnecessarily tedious. But I know that it works for me.
Some people work best and find motivation in waking early. I am not one of those people, especially during lockdown. However, I know that I can be productive in other ways in the morning, and I can essay-write from midday, almost non-stop, until evening.
3. Similarly, remind yourself that you are a person who can achieve things.
I had a lecturer in first year that said this as the class asked questions about how to write our first essay. “You need to remind yourself that you are a person who can achieve things”. If you’re struggling to study, then go and do something that will remind yourself that you can achieve things. Perhaps for you, that’s playing a video game, playing the guitar, drawing, baking a cake, gardening. Just because you’re struggling to study/work now in this moment, does not mean you cannot achieve things.
4. Treat yourself like a friend.
Would you tell your friend that they are so slow, so stupid, a failure? Would you tell your friend they aren’t good enough, aren’t working hard enough? Would you push your friend harder, despite the fact we’re in a pandemic and there’s so much heaviness around? Almost certainly not. Treat yourself like a friend. We’re in a pandemic, it’s understandable to have a lack of motivation, to feel more stressed. If, like me, you’re spending a lot of time in your own company, it’s easy to talk down on yourself, since there is nobody else there to say, “hey, that’s not true!” Perhaps in this season, you need to be your own friend, your own cheerleader.
I acknowledge that many people are unable to not work until 2pm, and they cannot stop what they’re doing to bake a cake, and that sometimes treating yourself as a friend is just too hard. I hope that the message of this blog is still relevant, and perhaps some of the ideas can be adapted for your situation.
A couple of weeks ago I felt a mixture of tired, despite having eight hours of sleep, and generally fed up; it was just one of those days. I got up out of bed fifteen minutes before my 9 o’clock lecture to find out that it actually started at 10 o’clock, so I took my coffee and breakfast biscuit bar back to bed. At 9:50, after so much groaning so that my cat came to sit on me and find out what all the drama was about, I got out of bed, taking my weighted blanket with me to my zoom class, still wearing my pyjamas.
In the lunch break I thought, “maybe I would feel better if I actually got up properly”.
I had a wash & changed into clothes that I know make me feel good. I ate lunch (my new favourite — chipotle, spinach, halloumi, and guacamole bagel) and I started to feel better. I learnt the art of getting up, and celebrated this as a little win.
Normally, I would argue the same as what you are probably thinking, “getting up isn’t an art”. But these are not normal times we live in.
We aren't programmed to celebrate our own small successes, and often not other's either. We cheer on those who get married, get their dream job, create something incredible -- but during a pandemic, these huge things are happening less frequently. Living in lockdown means we should be celebrating tiny wins of the day.
Research by a Harvard professor found that celebrating small wins positively affects our motivation and self-esteem, boosting us forward to achieve the bigger things. It was suggested that work places would be more productive if employers celebrated small achievements that paved the way for the big successes.
We’re also limited to ways that we can make ourselves feel better. Spending time with friends in coffee shops and in each other's houses, exploring new places, shopping, going to the cinema, are all things that are off the cards for the time being. Therefore, we’ve got to notice the small things that make us feel better and celebrate that. Although it may be shallow, getting changed into clothes that fit me well, are warm for this cold weather, and are comfortable enough to sit in front of a computer in for the rest of the day makes me feel better than staying in my jogging bottoms, and oversized hoodie. Getting up has become an art and it's a small success that boosts me to the bigger things, such as writing a dissertation.
I wonder what small things you can begin to celebrate. During a lockdown, no task is insignificant. Things that once were simple, routine, easy, now sometimes take more brain power, more effort, more convincing yourself that it will make you feel better. You got out of pyjamas? Congrats! You ate breakfast? Have a gold star! You did the food shopping?! Woohoo, #adultinggoals!
President Harry Truman once said that “all leaders are readers”, and this phrase has been commonly used amongst Christian circles.
Writing assignments for a Youth, Communities and Theology degree, whilst leading a group of young people and a team of volunteers, means that I ‘read’ a lot of books. The reason I write ‘read’ in inverted commas is because generally, I flick through the books to find the quote I need. I use Google Books to access free previews, and I search for a key word. I skim through the chapters to find what I need, and then I put the book back.
Three years ago, a youth work mentor of mine recommended ‘Seven Checkpoints for Student Leaders’, and I devoured it. My mentor showed me his planning spreadsheet; outlining dates, series, session topics, and which of the 7 checkpoints it covers. I learnt from this, and now every year I do the same.
I mainly read (no inverted commas) fiction books, and have completed 19 this year... mainly thanks to a long flight to Africa, followed by a pandemic! ‘The Break’ by Marian Keyes, ‘Conversations with Friends’ by Sally Rooney, and ‘The One’ by John Marrs were amongst my favourites of the year; I wish I could read them for the first time again. I read ‘Pretending’ by Holly Bourne in April, often siting at my balcony in the Spring Sun, and it was the first book ever to make me cry. I don’t think that leaders are limited to non fiction, academic or biographical reading.
I agree that generally, leaders are readers, mainly because we learn so much through reading.
But I think that saying “all leaders are readers” implies that those who don’t read or struggle to read are somehow less of a leader. Whilst just focussing on ‘reading’ is limiting; leaders are so much more. Perhaps a more inclusive and realistic phrase is “leaders are learners”.
Of course 'leaders are learners' includes reading. Leaders can learn through reading; books, articles, journals and blogs about their area of leadership, as well as fiction to be able to learn rest and unwind, as well as learning by ‘experiencing’ a different world.
Leaders learn from Ted Talks, podcasts and vlogs. Leaders learn by listening, watching, and taking notice.
Leaders learn from meeting with those they lead, being mentored by those above them, and being cheered on by colleagues in their field. Leaders learn from community.
Leaders learn by doing, having a go, testing the waters, making mistakes, and trying again. Leaders learn from persevering with projects, as well as letting other things go.
Similarly, leaders learn through reflection, whether that be in appraisal forms or in therapy. Leaders learn through looking back and sorting through difficulties, whilst creating road maps for the future.
Leaders learn by resting. Whether that be through sports, watching Netflix, meeting friends, or sleeping, leaders learn rest, and from rest comes growth, new ideas, an understanding of self, and strength.
Not all leaders are readers, but all leaders are learners.
If you would like to learn through reading, here are some books I recommend:
If you would like to learn through watching or listening, here are some resources I recommend: